It was still hot, even in the evening. The longest day of the year meant the sun had just gone down and there had been little time for relief from its heat. But that hadn't stopped the people of Trailsend from pouring out of their homes and into the streets in a flood of celebration. Madison leaned her forearms on the railing of the balcony above the Frostmaiden's Tit and sighed. She was very pointedly ignoring Ulysses. He was brooding behind her, back to the rough stone wall, eyes boring a hole in her head. Neither of them were looking at the other figures on the balcony.
She knew she'd have to be the first to break the silence. He at least had the tact to not try apologizing. "I guess I'm following through on my threats, huh?" He snorted, surprised by his own reaction, and went back to brooding. "Told you I'd put you here enough times."
"Madison-" Ulysses cut himself off as she whipped around. He met her gaze, though he wanted desperately to look at anything else instead.
"No, go ahead! I'd love to know why you decided to finish the Stranger's work for him!" Her fists were clenched and shaking at her sides. "Were you working for him the whole time? Pardon my paranoia, but I'm sure you can understand how I'd be a little off kilter at the moment."
Ulysses swallowed. "I am not working for him. You were right, earlier." Madison unclenched her fists and crossed her arms, leaning against the railing. "When I joined with them, I couldn't see a way out of my situation besides the one they offered. But you… you found another way out. And I had to do whatever it took to help you."
Madison let out a bark of harsh laughter. "Help me? You were helping me? By going into my mind and doing what he did?"
"To give you more power! It was the only way I could-"
"Not everything is about power, Ulysses!"
Madison's voice rang out clearly in the silence of the scene. All around them, figures were frozen in hazy memory, statues sculpted in the act of laughing and drinking and celebrating the solstice. She strode up to him and grabbed his shirt collar. "I never wanted to be magical. I never wanted any of the powers you people forced on me. I wanted to be normal!" She yanked him down to her eye level and her voice dropped to a hiss. "I wanted to live a regular life with my mother and my friends! I wanted to work hard and have fun and never get mixed up in bullshit intrigues! But you-" Madison shoved Ulysses backward and he stumbled, arms wheeling- "You and your stupid fucking dukelet Nikolai killed my best friend!"
Madison pointed at the trio of figures that the two of them had been avoiding. Three women were clustered at the edge of the balcony, crisp and clear in the frozen and hazy scene. Gretchen was standing, laughing, leaning back from a Madison frozen mid-puke over the balcony railing. Gretchen had been early in her transition then, her hair still in a short afro, but her smile was as infectious then as it was now. Madison was trying and failing to contain her drunkenness. Both her hands were holding onto the railing for dear life. Her eyes were bugged out, captured in the instant she realized that her vomit was going to land on a horse below. And holding Madison's hair back with one hand and hiding a smile in the other was Imogen. Her long dark hair framed her thin face. She was captured perfectly, even in this embarrassing memory. Madison gestured from her to the scene around them.
"This is the life I wanted! The kind where my worst memory was the time I got too drunk at a solstice festival and threw up on a horse, and then the horse freaked out and knocked over a fruit stand!" She leaned back onto the railing, looking away from Imogen again. "Instead, Nikolai killed her, and you covered it up. And then you felt so bad about it that you summoned demons into your body to end the world, and then the demons kidnapped me. How am I supposed to be normal now? How am I supposed to just go back to serving tables at Roth's when they did this to me?"
The memory shuddered around them. Ulysses saw crackles of magic around Madison's hands. She turned away before he could see the tears streaking down her cheeks. "I don't want this. I want to be home. I want to see my mom. I want to never have to think about the end of the world again." Madison wiped her face and looked out onto her memory of Trailsend. "And I want Nikolai fucking dead."
Ulysses looked down at his hands. They were trembling. He took a deep breath and steadied them. "Did I ever tell you what I did to Nikolai?"
Madison turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised skeptically. "You didn't have time at the mansion, I was a little too busy getting tortured to catch up on old friends."
He winced at that, which made her smile slightly. "Fair enough." Hesitantly, he approached the railing, and when she didn't immediately kick his ass, he leaned against it with her. "When I gave myself to the Stranger, I had a list of revenges I wanted to exact. The Cloaks, who I had spent my life running from, all suffered similar fates. Transformed into shambling flesh-beasts and living statuary, the standard revenge that a wizard exacts." Madison nodded, as if that was a normal thing to say. "Nikolai, however, got a special revenge," Ulysses continued, looking out onto the crowd. "It started with a cell door left open. Nikolai escaped through it, and was beaten and thrown back in by human guards. Then he tried to bribe the guards, and they released him, and he was captured by demons and tortured for his trouble. Then he found a loose cell bar, and pried it open, but when he leapt through the window he fell into an eternal lake of fire. It took him seventeen "escapes" before he realized that none of them had been due to his own ingenuity. That the mansion was allowing him to escape, to hope for freedom, before punishing him for having that hope." Ulysses had no joy in his voice when relaying this. His hands were perfectly still on the railing. "It was the cruellest thing I could think of, for a man like him."
"I dunno," Madison said, leaning on her forearms. "I would have tried infinite dick torture first."
Ulysses was startled into a laugh. "What does that even mean?"
"It's self-explanatory!" She rubbed her eyes, suddenly exhausted. "I think Enna is a bad influence on me. That's more the kind of thing she'd say." Madison gave Ulysses an assessing look. "You know, you might be the one person in the world who hates Nikolai as much as Gretchen and I do."
He nodded. "I have done my best to make him pay for what he did to Imogen, and to the other women he assaulted. But I would be lying if I said it was not also selfishly motivated."
The two of them stood in silence for a moment. Eventually Madison sighed and pushed away from the railing. "Let's go. We've been in here too long."
"Do you know how to get back?" Ulysses asked, remembering the ordeal of the dark sea and the crushing riptide.
"It's my mind, Ulysses. I know my way around it pretty well. " She reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder. "Come on."
Ulysses sat at the edge of the cliff, legs dangling, staring out into the vast ocean. When the golden thread came down, he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Madison was astride Shas, her eyes adjusting to the growing light of the morning. "Hey," she said, adjusting her weight on the horse.
Good morning, he replied, straightening up. Did you sleep well?
"No nightmares, got eight hours. I think. Hey, do you know any timekeeping spells?"
I can't say I do.
"That's fine." Madison sighed and absentmindedly brushed at Shas' mane. "You know how you double-owe me for all the bullshit you put me through?"
Yes.
"I'm going to say some things, and you are going to pretend like you don't hear them, and that will clear up some of your obligation to me. Sound good?"
Is there any particular reason you are telling me them?
"Because I spent all of yesterday talking to a horse, and I have to reclaim some dignity." Shas snorted at her, and Madison patted the side of her neck. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, now's as good a time as any, and it's stuff I've been thinking about because of... what happened last night. And if I don't talk about my feelings I end up trying to murder public figures in the town square."
Which, to be fair, is a healthier way to deal with feelings than anything I tried.
"True!" Madison rolled her shoulders. "Okay. Pretending like you don't hear me time starts now. Ready?"
Ulysses didn't respond, and Madison nodded. "Good, you passed the test. Alright! So!" Madison steadied her hands on the reins. "I've been thinking about-" She waved her hands in a big circle- "-this whole situation. I said some stuff last night that I don't think I've- no, I know I've never told anyone that. About why I don't want to do magic." She snorted. "Which I guess was bound to happen given that we are in the world's weirdest roommate setup, kind of. This is beyond sleepover secrets, Ulysses."
She sighed. "I think the way it works is, if you don't tell someone what your deal is, then you can't know what your own deal is. If that makes sense." Madison wrinkled her nose. "Okay, this sucks actually, you can act like you can hear me now."
Hmm? Ulysses was turning a rock over in his hands. I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
"Ha ha. I'm swearing you to silence about this, okay? When we get back to Trailsend, you never heard what I'm about to tell you."
Cross my heart, or what's left of it.
"A melodramatic start!" Madison rolled her eyes. "So. What I said before, about wanting to have a normal life. That was all true. But it wasn't the whole story."
Ulysses leaned back on his hands. Go on.
"The other reason I never wanted to learn magic was because of my dad."
The one who left you the war-caster's wand?
"Yep." Madison leaned forward and scratched Shas between the ears. "He died when I was pretty young, I don't remember him well. He was a sorcerer in the King's army."
Ulysses could see more memories swirling up from the sea and bubbling up to the field. And that's why you never developed your natural power? Because you didn't want to join the army?
"No, dipshit, if that was why I'd just not join the army." She glared off into the distance, lacking a good target for it. "When he died, he left me and my mom alone. I had to grow up pretty fast. And I didn't ever want to be someone who could do that to my kids. Someone who had the option to do that. If I led a normal life, if I did what I had to do to make the kind of future I wanted, then that wouldn't ever be me. I wouldn't ever have the kind of power that made me a target like that." She shrugged. "But, you know, sometimes that doesn't work out and you end up getting kidnapped for 'potential' instead. So it goes!"
Ulysses sighed. So it goes. And you weren't ever tempted by magic? Even to make your life easier?
"Oh, I mean, I learned a couple cantrips here and there, mostly to help Mom out and make cleaning easier. I do like magic. I just chose not to get any better at it."
May I say something that is a bit self-centered?
Madison nodded magnanimously. "Yeah, I'm done talking about my sad backstory. Go ahead."
I.... genuinely cannot imagine a life where that was an option.
"What, getting good at magic?"
Ulysses nodded, then realized that she couldn't see him. Exactly. When I was a child, I was raised by... what was your word for them earlier? Evil assassin wizards?
"Yeah, some fucked up cult in Molmaster, right?"
An extremely fucked up cult. My entire life, from the moment they took me in to the day I escaped, was centered around the acquisition of power. In order to survive- and I mean that very literally, they killed many of my yearmates- I had to be the best, the strongest, the most ruthless. I had to carve a place for myself with blood and power. I cannot even imagine a life where I could have chosen not to learn magic.
Madison nodded. "That sounds about right for someone who didn't see a way out of a shitty job other than 'summon world-ending demons and get possessed by them at a wedding.' Were you that hard up for cash?"
Ulysses grimaced. Nikolai was blackmailing me, and would have betrayed me to the Cloaks at a moment's notice. The Stranger offered the only way I could see to kill two birds with one stone.
"Uh-huh. And you do see now how that might not have been the only option you had, right?"
It certainly felt like the only option at the time. Ulysses sat forward and rubbed the back of his neck. It is still hard to see another way.
"Oh come on. What about your friends?" Madison shifted on the saddle. "You were already friends with Enna and Emiel. Hell, Emiel took you as a date to their sister's wedding. You think they wouldn't have helped you out?"
There is not much they could have done against the Cloaks.
"Ulysses, you got away from them years ago, when you were presumably a teenager of some sort. Do you think that your friends, plus their friends, at their current skill level, couldn't have done something about-" -she waved her hands around again- "-the whole Cloaks situation?"
Ulysses rubbed his temples. What reason would they have to do that? To risk their lives for me?
Madison snorted. "Enna would risk her life for a dog she found on the street. And Emiel really, genuinely, cares about you. And they have a lot of friends with a lot of power. That's why I'm not worried about the Stranger finding us once we get to Trailsend. Because I know my friends, and I know what they would do for me."
There was a long pause. It was long enough that Madison wondered if Ulysses had decided to jump in her subconscious ocean again. Then, she heard him cough delicately. You said 'cares,' correct?
"Ulysses!" Madison doubled over, trying not to laugh her way off the horse. "Was that the main thing you took away from that?"
It was not the main thing. I simply wanted to clarify your meaning. Madison could have sworn that Ulysses sounded huffy.
"Yes, oh my god, obviously they still care about you. They had a whole dramatic turn when you broke up with them!"
They think I broke up with them? Ulysses said, horrified.
"You got yourself possessed by demons at their sister's wedding and didn't talk to them for months!"
Oh dear.
"You have some serious clearing up to do when you get back to Trailsend. I mean, for a lot of people, but specifically you and Emiel need to talk."
Ulysses covered his face with his hands. What if we didn't. What if I just put my consciousness in a gem and nobody ever talked to me again.
"No, come on, you don't get to fuck off after everything you did to me. You have to go in there and talk to your friends! That's your comeuppance. Besides, betcha a hundred gold Emiel wants to get back together with you."
I do not have any gold, due to the fact that I do not have a corporeal form. Also, why in the nine hells would they want to do that?
"Beats me!" Madison shrugged. "There's no accounting for taste. They're not even the only one in the party who's trying to get in with an agent of the apocalypse, either."
You're joking.
"Am not. Remember how I told you that Reynald Al'Hagir, the Great Betrayer, the leader of the Doomlords himself, is living with Enna now?"
Enna is-
"No!" Madison said, a little too quickly. "Baruun. Baruun has like, this huge crush on him, and-"
So, Enna is not seeing anyone? Ulysses asked. Madison thought she detected a hint of wryness in his tone. She did not care for it.
"She's, uh. She's a thane of Trailsend now, so she's been on a couple of dates with people. She told me about a couple of them. Which is, you know, good for her! I've also been doing that, casually."
Uh-huh. Ulysses smiled, one of the more genuine smiles he'd had in a long time. So the two of you aren't-
"We aren't! At all! End of story." Madison could feel herself blushing bright red. She knew that Ulysses could feel it, too, which was the worst part.
End of story, then.
"Goddammit, Ulysses, shut the hell up." She could feel him laughing at her. This was awful. "No, okay, it's not the end of the story, obviously I still have feelings for her, we are both guilty of having feelings for our exes and we are in the same fucking boat here. And yes, before you say it, it is hypocritical of me to tell you to talk to Emiel about it when I haven't talked to Enna. But I get to be hypocritical, because I got kidnapped and tortured, and I'm going to milk that free pass for all it's worth!"
I think that is more than justified.
"You're goddamn right." Madison tightened her grip on the reins. "Thank fuck we're getting to civilization today."
We're that close?
"Yeah, we should be, unless I got wildly off track!"
Ulysses stood up. Shall I check for us?
Madison shrugged. "Go ahead." She leaned back in the saddle and let Ulysses take control of their arms. He twisted their wrists in what had to be an unnecessary flourish- Shas snorted as the reins fell- and cast out a shimmering cloud of magic from their palms. The cloud hovered before them, coalescing slowly into a map of the landscape. Ulysses rotated it in front of them.
We're that glowing dot, there. And that cluster of dots is Trailsend. More than a day's ride from here.
"Yeah, but see that cluster there?" Madison took control of the right hand and used it to jab at a much closer series of dots. "That's Plainsheld. It should be about six hours from here. Enna told me that it's where she ended up when she first left the plains for the Cold Lands. And I know for a fact they have a tavern. With beds."
The innkeeper of The Eagle's Nest was used to all types coming through her tavern. It was the last stop for many traders who had hopes of bartering with the people of the plains, and the first stop for many of the plains people risking a trip into the lowlands. So she took little note of the exhausted traveler who stumbled into her tavern, dust-covered and saddle-sore, who made sure that her stocky horse was given its share of water and hay before making a beeline to her room. Many travelers who wandered the plains alone went a little strange, so it didn't come across as strange that the girl was muttering under her breath to herself as she counted out the heavy coin from her stitched-leather bag. The only thing that made her stick in the innkeeper's memory, even as she smiled politely while handing over the fee, was the hue of her eyes. One a deep, rich brown. One a light hazel, nearly red. And the crackle of magic that followed her up the stairs into her lodgings. The innkeeper shivered and felt for her protective charm-necklace as she put the coins into her safe that night. She had seen many travelers in her time in Plainsheld. She had gotten fairly good at assessing threats- rowdy guests, dangerous brutes, the kind of people who stayed there as one stop on their way to adventure and death. But she had never seen a mage whose power radiated off of her like that girl's. She knew, deep in her bones, that that girl could level the inn and everyone in it without a thought. She resolved to put an extra slice of sweetened bread in her guest's breakfast that morning. It couldn't hurt to get on the good side of someone like that.
Author's Notes:
Written 9/29/21. Finally, Madison and Ulysses have made it back to civilization! Hopefully everything goes smoothly for them now.