Pink Lemonade

I never even had a name for this sona, I just always referred to her as "pink lemonade mermaid" in my head. One of her few character traits was that she was always listening to Marina and the Diamonds! This is because at the time, in 2013, I also was always listening to Marina and the Diamonds. She was only barely a sona, but I think she represents my first steps toward the "I can represent myself with a cool animal" mindset.

I am only being a bit of a hipster when I say that I made this sona before axolotls really hit the mainstream. I considered myself to be really subversive for having an amphibian mermaid! I was absolutely not in front of the trend on pastel mohawks and off-the-shoulder belted tops. It was Tumblr dot gov in 2013, that was basically conformist. Remember pastel grunge? My art sure does. That plus the corded headphones and iPod might qualify these pictures as "retro."

Etoile

Etoile was a design I kicked around for a couple weeks in 2014. I was really in my quote unquote "pastel goth" phase, due to me having been on Tumblr for the last three years. For reference, here's a drawing of one of my other OCs in the same style made around the same time. Unfortunately for my Furry Cred, Etoile never really stuck. In hindsight I think it's because I made her too femme. Which was silly, because the reason I picked a spotted hyena was because they have that gnc swag. What was I doing trying to femme her up like that? For that matter, I was making myself too femme! I owned that dress she's wearing and I wore my hair like that, but something about it felt a little off at the time. I wouldn't find out what it was until a decade later.

Deciding that Ruth was a little more butch (relatively speaking) than I was presenting at the time was, in retrospect, an important component of my Gender Journey. Etoile never stuck with me as an authentic expression of myself despite being an accurate reflection of how i was at the time because I wasn't an authentic expression of myself. I was still trying to figure out what "my aesthetic" was. I spent a lot of college doing that. Ironically, I also spent a lot of college insisting I wasn't a furry, to the point where it became a running joke among my friends. Look at me now!

Etoile still has a really cute design, though. A sparklehyena with stars for spots and little freckles is inspired, I was right about that. Maybe I should butch her up sometime? She doesn't have to be so skinny anymore either. Girl I can fix you!!! Put a tank top and some jeans on!!!!

Other Sonas

After Etoile failed to stick, I remember kicking around a possum sona for a bit who was always wearing a hoodie, and then later a cool blue sun bear. I think I also considered a cheetah for a bit, since they were my favorite animals as a kid. I haven't managed to track down their art yet, but I hope to someday. Nothing is as cool to me as a big dragon, though, which is why Ruth was the first sona I really got excited about!